November 17, 2019, I woke to an incredible painting posted on Facebook: “Streets of Gold”. When I first saw “Streets of Gold”, God told me to buy the painting. It was to “represent the blessings” He’d given me “and the blessings I would be walking through.” Two days later I was picking the painting up from the artist.

When I woke the next morning, God gave me a picture of a man walking through a grove of trees in Autumn. Then He whispered in my soul, “Grief is like Fall.” My world exploded. I’d been struggling with the book’s introduction. I also knew the ending wasn’t quite right either. But the revelation about grief CHANGED everything… including the cover.

I contacted Carolyn and asked to meet with her the next evening. Exactly a week after picking up “Streets of Gold”, we were engaged.

It’s not the typical pattern we’ve all come to expect in dating. That pattern usually takes a lot longer. But God… There’s that phrase again (I wrote a post about it a year ago.) But God… in His infinite wisdom, overwhelming love, and endless fatherly gift giving… made it clear He was pushing the time table, not us.

Many have wondered how God took me from overwhelming loneliness and grief and turned my world around in literally the blink of an eye. One minute I was standing in a Starbucks, meeting the artist who painted “Streets of Gold”, and in the next… while still standing in that same Starbucks during that same meeting… I was talking with the woman God intended for me… and I knew it in that moment. (She didn’t, but I did.)

As we began sharing our whirlwind love story with our inner circle of mentors, family, and friends, the questions and worry presented to us melted away. Each time we met over coffee, tea, or a meal, we had confirmation – God was directing this love story and that was clear to all. One of my closest friends remarked, “Thom, look at that painting. Many blessings are on the ground, but look at the trees!” I got lightheaded. I’ve never known this level of blessing and favor.

On top of the confirmations, God has made it abundantly clear, many times, that March 20th is to be the wedding date. It’s been overwhelming at times and peaceful at others as we plan this wedding. Learning to “do life” together while living in two different zip codes, evaluating stuff (what do we keep, donate, or sell?), and finding time to date each other has made our schedule a bit of a whirlwind in and of itself. But God… Just acknowledging His divine hand changes it all.

Which brings us to the present. Last night while driving home, my son asked, “Dad, when does Spring begin? ” I was sure the equinox was in April, but just to make sure, Carolyn opened her phone to check.

“The first day of Spring is March 20th,” Carolyn whispered.

“What?” I wasn’t sure I’d heard her correctly.

“It’s March 20th,” she repeated, a little louder. Her revelation stunned me. “There’s your next book,” she added.  I found myself completely flabergasted.

There’s another part to God’s revelation from last night though. Twenty-seven years ago God told me to “Be a child” in a moment He burned into the fabric of ME. A wise man told me, “Thom, don’t grow up. People who grow up on the inside tend to get in God’s way. Be childlike in your faith and devotion. God will always be able to use you.”

I have attempted to be childlike for the last 27 years. Sometimes I’ve grown up and succumbed to stress and worry, especially since March 2013 when Amy was first diagnosed with kidney failure. Sometimes God has reminded me to play and the years of worry began to melt away.

Last night, Carolyn told me she refers to me as her “playmate.” Her mom has even counseled couples in the past two weeks, encouraging them with the concept of playmate – to play as a couple, to remember the joy of play, to be childlike, and to laugh.

We’d been talking about a realization God gave me in the car after learning when Spring started. I simply said, “I have forever felt less than… that people have settled for me.” From friendships to romance, I’ve thought people could have done better, including Amy. “I have often felt I could have been a better husband, father, and friend.” (I don’t need the sermons or the accolades, and I’m not fishing for compliments. God blew my mind last night.)  As I listened to Carolyn tell me about how her mother was using our story, I no longer felt less than. Last night was the first time I truly believed I was someone’s perfect match. I truly understood my worth in the eyes of others and in the eyes of God. And for once, I didn’t feel like I needed to apologize for wanting to play.

This morning my heart was overwhelmed to realize once again that God has been at work to bring this family into a time of unrestrained favor and blessing. The metaphor of Fall became the introduction… or rather… the beginning of the book. Since many people don’t read the Introduction, I named it “The Beginning.” Carolyn finished painting the picture of Autum God had given me. He’d given her the same picture.

The last addition to the book was to add a final chapter to complete the metaphor. It explains how the Autumn of Grief turns into the cold, often lonely, dark Winter of the Soul. But it doesn’t stop there; it briefly talks of meeting Carolyn and leaning toward the future. Spring is coming. Truly. On March 20th, the day God picked for me to marry Carolyn is the first day of Spring literally and figuratively. This family is being ushered into New Life.

I’ve already started outlining the next book, titled Good God?!? It will further look at the metaphor of the Seasons in life. I will continue to update this blog as Good Grief?!? gets closer to store shelves. Thank you for continuing to support me and this book.