2 Years Ago…Today

It’s hard to believe that two years have passed since Amy’s memorial service. Today has been a difficult day – surprisingly – for me. Two things have kept me going today. The first is the song God woke me up singing: “Even If” by MercyMe. The second was the memory of my boys honoring their mother at the service. To honor Amy and my three boys, below are the parting words of each of my three boys to, and about, their mother. Isaiah went first, Micah followed directly after him, and Gabe spoke right before the final worship song. I hope these words move you as much as they’ve moved me today.

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ISAIAH

14324483_10210808805555894_1872310915559200635_oThe first thing that I think you should know about my mom is that she changed me through her ministry to other people. Mom taught me many things and gave me many qualities of herself to continue on in her memory. She taught me to be creative and to try new things; she taught me how to cook; she taught me how to be nice to and serve others; and she gave me a passion to work with kids.

Besides the many creative things I’ve attempted and enjoyed with my mom’s encouragement, she taught me how to cook like she cooked. I am glad I know how to cook her chicken, make her version of slop, and bake her amazing chocolate chip cookies.

When I was 5, Mom let me really help her bake chocolate chip cookies for the first time. We had fun, even though there was a big mess to clean up. The best part about that day was that it was the first time I got to do “quality control”, something my dad usually got to do.

Over the years, I have watched my mom volunteer at many Beaverton Foursquare camps. This past 4-5 Camp I got to volunteer with her for both my first and her last time. Every year, even when she was tired, she didn’t stop working at camp because she wanted to serve the kids and staff, thinking of their needs, not her own. I want to go back to 4-5 Camp as a volunteer though and help honor her legacy of love and care of others.

The second thing I want you to know about my mom was that she loved everyone she met. I want to live up to her example. You may not know that there were many people who loved and trusted my mom with many different things. She loved everyone, and hardly ever said “No” to serving others, even us kids.

I loved crawling into her lap – even just a few weeks ago – and she would hold me until I fell asleep in her arms. I may have surpassed her in height this summer, but I will have to strive to come close to her supernatural height and her model of faith.

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MICAH

14310560_10210808805995905_5256768924942963016_oMy freshman year I went to my school’s graduation ceremony, and every single graduate had the opportunity to give mini-speeches and thank the people they love. Mom leaned over to me and said, “20 bucks says that you couldn’t fit song titles into your speech.” So, instead of a graduation speech, I decided that for the circumstances, maybe we could make it this speech instead? Besides, she owes me 20 bucks already. But I guess I should just “Let It Go.”

From the time that she watched me do the “Single Ladies” dance that I have regretted since, to her pummeling me with a stuffed shark because I couldn’t understand the lyrics to “Hit Me with your Best Shot”, to her trying (and succeeding) to make me crumple to the floor by tickling my earlobe, mom was always mom.

Over the last two weeks of her life, Mom persistently pestered me about college applications, particularly, an essay for one specific college. They wanted a paper on my Jesus story, and how I have grown in Him. And although I know there was “Something to Believe In,” I struggled to find a way to write about my faith story. “How can I help you?” she kept asking me. I didn’t know what help I needed, so I didn’t answer my mother’s question. I spent so much time upstairs in my room or with my friends to avoid her bugging me. Today, I wish I hadn’t. For those of you wondering, I have not finished that essay, but I know who it will be about. Don’t worry, mama. I’ll make you “Proud of Your Boy.”

Two weeks ago, to this day, I was at work for an 8-hour, on my feet, being nice to people, shift. I was having a no-good, very bad day, and I called home. My supervisor was going to let me go on a meal break soon, and I felt like I just needed to come home. So I came home and had dinner with the family. It was a bit chaotic: I felt like a rushed mess, and they all had finished their food already. Mom made them wait at the dinner table for an extra 45 minutes just for me, but it felt normal. I didn’t even remember that mom was sick. “I Want the Good Times Back. That Would Be Enough.” We were laughing and playing games until I had to race back to work.

“How can I help you?”

Mom always asked that. To everyone.

I asked, “Are you okay?”

The day before her passing, we were having a great time. We went bowling to celebrate a final day of summer as a family of five. Little did we know, that was our last celebration as a family of five. About halfway through the game, Mom started feeling sick. We thought it was just another bad night.  She has had so many over the last 2 years. When we got home, Dad and I helped her upstairs. I wish I remember the last thing she said to me. But I remember what I told her: “Are you gonna be okay, Mom?”

So many people had no idea how sick my mom was.

You see, she didn’t want all the attention on her. She didn’t want everyone to treat her differently. So, instead of complaining, she changed the topic. She chose to focus on her gifts, rather than her sickness. My mom served in ministry for 30 years. Knowing her state of health, it “Blows Us All Away” how continually and unfailingly hospitable she was.

IMG_90661I’m wearing those bowling shoes now. We called the venue, and they let me borrow them to honor the last time Mom was Mom, focusing on celebrating with us. I kinda wish I could just click my heels and we would be together again. She taught me to laugh, she taught me to love. So much of me is made of what I learned from mom. And it will stick with me “For Good.”

As Christians, we don’t have to be eternally sad because we know that we will someday meet again in the Presence of the Lord. So, I get to say “Goodbye Until Tomorrow.”

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GABRIEL

14409486_10210808859717248_1674417536705584557_oHi, everybody. I’m Gabriel, and good afternoon. Amy was my mom and I just miss her so much. I wish she was here with me right now. I just want her with me. What made me really happy was how she just loved me. And I just wanted, for all of us, if we could just love on her and wrap around her heart.

I’m going to miss her because she was there. But I’m excited that she’s stuck in Heaven right now. She always sung me, “How great is our God.” That was the first lullaby she ever sang to me. It took me forever to learn her. It took me years to figure out why she was my mother. And then I got it. She loved Jesus very much. I hope you do too.

Our last song is “10,000 Reasons.” Some of you know it by heart. It was one of my mom’s favorite worship songs when we were a family together. In this whole memorial service, we have been just loving her. Thank you all for coming. Let’s sing together her last song.

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Amy gave my boys a passion to be servant warriors in her footsteps, to be a spark of joy in someone’s day, and to be someone who loves for no other reason than because God put the person into their lives. I married this incredible, amazing woman 21 years ago, and even though she is stuck in Heaven, as Gabriel put it, she is also stuck in our hearts.

Daddy: A Reckoning part 2

Amy was hospitalized at twenty-five weeks and one day in her second pregnancy. I was out of my league on the parenting front without a partner. My hope lay in two things: I serve an awesome, big, and powerful God and the pregnancy had already surpassed the necessary point for a baby to possibly live outside the womb: 24 1/2 weeks. Amy could give birth and God could perform miracles, with or without the doctors’ help. The goal was to deliver after thirty weeks. Alas, she only carried the baby to twenty-seven weeks and two days.

In order to survive as a quasi-single dad, adhered to a crushing schedule. I woke at 4:30 each morning; made and packed two lunches and dinner; and then headed for the shower. I woke my son at 5:30 for his bath. We ate breakfast and were out the door by 6:15. I dropped Micah off with a friend or family member for the day, complete with a diaper bag ready for Armageddon, and had to arrive at school for morning staff meetings by 7:15. After school, I picked him up and we went – along with the dinner I’d stashed in the staff lounge – to the hospital to see Mommy. Traffic prevented us from arriving before 5:30 p.m. We’d eat dinner while Micah babbled about the fun things he’d done that day with Grammy, Lisee, Miss Ali, or whichever family friend he’d been stashed with for the day. At 7:15 each night, we would hug Amy and head home. By 8:30 my son was fast asleep and I still had dishes, laundry, and grading to complete. By 11:00, I had usually passed out asleep on the table or in the recliner where I’d been grading papers, usually having just consumed three or four scoops of Rocky Road for comfort. Wash, rinse, repeat four days a week. Fridays we didn’t go to the hospital because I was utterly exhausted. To make it up to Micah, we spent four and six hours at the hospital on Saturdays and Sundays respectively. The rest of the weekend was spent going to church, mopping and vacuuming the floors, and more grading. Grocery shopping happened when I could squeeze it into the schedule. The local Safeway had just been remodeled, and, for a blessed week, half-gallon bricks of ice cream were only one dollar, limit two per customer. I gave my little giant (who was eye to eye with the check counter) two dollars and sent him down the line next to mine each night on the way home from the hospital for a week. I consumed 9 1/2 gallons of ice cream myself while Amy was in the hospital.

One week into the regimen, I realized I could not keep up with an energetic 3 1/2 year-old boy who loved life and lived it hard all while juggling a home, a job, and a wife in the hospital; I just couldn’t. I begged God for a miracle without specifics since I didn’t really know what I needed. He answered my plea by providing prayer warriors and working hands – many unseen to me at the time, and a few very visible – to help me cope. My first Thursday night without Amy happened to be “Back to School Night”. I was mobbed by parents who wanted to bring meals, mow my yard, or clean my house. Amongst the fray of bills piling up and a tight checkbook, we were given fuel cards by two different families in order to keep our family physically together as much as possible. Amy took all the grading from me she could possibly take and I rearranged my lesson plans to avoid long essays until later in the year. Daily I woke feeling an encouraging hand pushing me through my day; I thanked God for the prayer warriors I knew and the ones I didn’t. And on the days when I felt I would break completely, God showed up in an encouraging note, delivered groceries from an anonymous source, or some other creative way.

After a week, I bought paper plates and plastic silverware and stopped folding clothes out of necessity. These two decisions bought me another hour of Z’s a night. I still had a few dishes to wash – pots and pans and the like; and I still completed one to two loads of laundry a day. I just upended the basket onto the couch. It became Micah and my dresser/closet for the month. Amy named the pile “Mt. Washington” when she arrived home to witness the carnage of her once beautiful, neat, organized home.

On Friday nights Micah and I ate dinner on TV trays while watching a movie. We sat together on the couch but I usually fell asleep within fifteen minutes, sometimes before I’d even eaten my dinner. Micah would always wake me up at his favorite parts: “Daddy, ya hafta watch! Dis is da bess part.” By that time, we’d amassed a cache of videos complete with singing vegetables, a skidoo-ing blue puppy, and singing animals who danced with princesses “Once upon a dream”. With such a variety, what did Micah always choose to watch?!? Disney’s Cinderella or

Cinderella

Roger’s and Hammerstein’s…Cinderella starring Brandi, Whoopie, and Whitney! Every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday we watched those movies – or at least they were on while we played on the floor, unloaded and/or reloaded the dishwasher, and performed a sundry of other tasks. By the end of that month, my dreams were replete with mice singing while they helped me clean the house

Gus2

(“Cinderelly, Cinderelly…”). Sometimes my students, family, and friends joined into the nocturnal foray, hounding me of many different tasks I couldn’t complete in the day, or sometimes I found myself arguing with a wand toting, diva fairy-godmother trying to convince me that Impossible was Impossible. Today, Micah’s favorite films include both these movies. He even nicknamed his newly minted brother “Gus-Gus” when they first met!

When Amy came home, I began joking with her: “You cannot die until our kids have all graduated from high school! I can’t do this alone.” There was a bit of truth veiled in that joke. I barely made it through that month and I didn’t want to become the “barely made it” dad my children would weep to their therapists about during their 30’s. Silently, I lived with the fear of losing my wife while my kids were still kids. It became an overwhelming terror multiplying inside of me. When Amy was diagnosed with kidney failure, I choked on that joke once, never again. In that moment I realized I would most likely become a single parent soon, and I wasn’t the daddy I wanted to be.

…to be continued in pt. 3…

An Epiphany re: parenting!

 

It’s taken me nearly a week to write this post. The epiphany has been a lot to digest and understand God’s lesson to me. It never donned on me just how much my kids are like me or rather just how suited I am to be their dad until the other day. I know this might sound stupid, but the epiphany is too big for me to let pass.

Growing up, there were many careers I wanted to try on for size. Some fell by the wayside, others were tucked into the Maybe bin, while others landed directly in front of me. Dropping my youngest off at his first cake decorating class last Thursday, brought about the epiphany.

When I was in first grade, I wanted to become was a trapeze artist. (Insert giggles here.) I read every book about Miguel Vazquez I could find. He was my hero. Vazquez was the youngest flyer in the Barnum and Bailey Circus at the time, and he was only a few years older than I was. In the third grade, I learned I surpassed most trapeze flyers in height and therefore needed to find another passion to follow. My hopes of being a circus performer were dashed.

Years later, during a move to a new house, I found a cache of spiral notebooks in which I’d designed many trapeze flyer costumes. That got me started on fashion design. I spent my free time drawing clothes, inventing fabric patterns and testing different ways to re-design the boring clothes I wore. By middle school, I stood out from the crowd with my Z Cavaricci jeans and my three quarter sleeve jackets by Guess. I was wearing Don Johnson’s wardrobe ala Miami Vice before the show was popular!

Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with acting and Broadway musicals. In high school alone, I performed in six different plays. I was even cast in a professional production of Left Behind, right here in Hillsboro, Oregon. Although I’ve only performed in one musical – No, No, Nannette! – one of my Bucket List goals since 9th grade is to one day perform on Broadway! By the end of my Sophomore year, I wanted to become an American Novelist, publishing at least three books a year! (No one told me I couldn’t reach for the stars in my dreams!)

Amy and I spent our Honeymoon in Disneyworld. We had so much fun, and fell in love with the place, that we began making plans to retire and work in one of the Disney Parks after we raised a family.

Shortly after our wedding, Amy set out to take a cake decorating class together. We’d been catering events from intimate dinners for 6 to weddings with 1200 in attendance. We didn’t have a lot in common, except a love for the Lord and for all things Disney; I saw an opportunity to do something together, even if it wasn’t something I really wanted to do. I ended up loving it. Within two years, we were winning baking contests.

All in all, I grew up with a significant amount of creativity trying to break out of me. What did I grow up to be? An English/Language Arts teacher by day and a superhero by night – but that’s a whole different story/post for another day.

Now back to my epiphany.

My oldest has a passion for Broadway and wants to write musicals. He’s written, directed, and produced a one-act play during his Senior year in high school. He’s written many short stories, blog posts, and even a chapter in my book: Good Grief?!?

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Micah’s first Caramel Apple pie

Over the last year, he’s been working on a musical with a friend or two. I told him I want a front-row seat when he debuts on Broadway and a walk-on part for the week following. He recently returned from a trip to New York City in which he had the opportunity to see Waitress, his favorite musical and the reason he’s picked up pie baking.

My middle son loves all things Disney, especially Tinkerbell and Peter Pan his mother’s and his favorite characters respectively. He also has a deep desire to do things other people would like to do; this passion offers him community with creative people. He’s dabbled at cooking, musicals, and writing because his mother, brothers, and I have all enjoyed those tasks.

Then there’s my youngest. At almost three, he crawled into my lap, arrested the remote control from my grip and changed the channel from Young Justice to Good Eats with Alton Brown.

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The sundress Isaiah made.

He liked superheroes but thought that the Food Network was a better use of his time. In first grade, he asked his mother to teach him her famous chocolate chip cookie recipe. She plopped him on the island countertop, criss-cross-applesauce, and placed a giant Tupperware bowl in his lap. Then she made him swear to always “quality control” the chocolate chips and other tasty ingredients. He’s grown into quite the chef, confounding our taste-buds with his cooking and baking creations alike. The summer after Amy died, my son’s favorite math teacher left the profession choosing to be a stay at home mom to her son and newborn daughter. To show his appreciation, my youngest created a beautiful sun dress for the little girl. When his teacher opened the box, she asked him, “Where did you buy this? It’s so cute.” She was speechless when she learned that he’d made it under the direction of his godmother.

It was an amazing thing to realize my kids were growing up as extensions of me, not that I live through them vicariously, but that we can go through life together interested in and participating in activities we all like!

Then IT hit me.

Amy was very creative and loved cooking, baking, Broadway, and Disney. My kids are each an extension of her! I see her face in their faces daily. Sometimes the recognition brings a face-wide grin to part my visage, other times it brings tears. I know many kids grow up to be something their parents never saw coming or something their parents were never interested in pursuing. I find myself very blessed to look at my kids and see the extension of Amy and myself in them. All three of them will go places above and beyond our dreams. It’s my job to support them and offer help…when they ask for it.

A First Date?!?

 

 

“You have a hot date tomorrow with Amy Standley!” Rob announced entering my office.

Date?!? I began freaking out in my head. It’s just coffee.

“Y…e…s…,” I tried to cover, hoping Rob didn’t notice. Dating and I never got along. Most of my first dates landed around 9.0 on the Rhictor scale. I spent much time leading up to first dates worshipping the porcelain throne, heaving everything I’d eaten for the past few weeks. Then I struggled to hold conversation with the girl with whom I had no trouble talking before and when I asked her out. The cold sweats began.

“It’s not a big deal,” I continued after a beat. “Just coffee.” My voice cracked like a pre-pubescent boy.

“You can’t do just coffee on a first date with Amy.” Rob said it like I should have known that rule. In college, Amy lived with Temple, about a mile off campus. Temple’s boyfriend (now husband), Jason, introduced Amy to his best friend, Rob. The four spent much time together. Amy and Temple’s house was a second home to Rob. After graduation, I just happened to be hired as the youth pastor of Rob’s home church. So, that’s how we ended up staring at each other on that Friday afternoon.

“Amy said coffee when I called, so coffee it is.” But Rob’s “encouragement” changed my mind. On the way into town – I lived 72 miles from Amy at the time – I stopped and picked up a floral bouquet and a copy of The Oregonian newspaper to get some destination ideas (it was well before SMART phones and Google Assistant).

Apparently, after leaving my office, Rob called Amy with a similar proclamation. She’d been just as confused as I had been. When I arrived for our “date”, Amy was on a long-distance call to her sister Lisa in full freak-out mode.

“It’s just supposed to be coffee!” she’d told Lisa.

“If he’s got flowers, then it’s a date,” was the bit of wisdom Lisa gave her before hanging up the phone. (Amy filled me in on our third date.)

I was so nervous after talking with Rob that I spent the evening futzing over outfits and plans. In the morning, before the date, I changed clothes four times! I settled on stone-washed denim jeans and a mustard yellow button-down shirt. Amy would confide in me years later that she hated that shirt. I’m glad I showed up with the flowers, or it may have just been coffee.

Eight months had passed since I declared to my college roommate I would marry Amy Standley. In that time, many things happened to ensure we would never meet again, but God had a bigger plan. I believe God gives us choice in whom we choose to love and marry. The romantic in me still believes that sometimes God moves Heaven and Earth in order for two specific people to meet. When I take into account all of the things working against us becoming a couple, my head swims. Good grief!?! All the head-swimming ceases, though, when I remember two incredible words: but God.

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Graphic Credit: WaveChurch https://wavechurch.com/store/but-god/

Those two words are so powerful. Amy and I wouldn’t have met, but God convinced Amy to go to Eugene Bible College for a one-year Bible certificate. Amy and I wouldn’t have had a first date, but God prompted Rob to drop a few hints. Amy and I were both separately told we couldn’t have children, but God decided to confound the doctors…thrice! There are many more instances in my life where those two small words change the direction of the narrative.

As I sat pondering these two words, God took me on a trip through Scripture. I found forty-one chapters in the Bible containing this powerful phrase. One story stood out from the rest. One man – who happens to be one of my favorite characters in the Bible – stood out from the rest. In speaking about this man, Stephen said, “Because the patriarchs were jealous of Joseph, they sold him as a slave into Egypt. But God was with him” (Acts 7:9). At the end of his life, when his brothers came to him in fear for their very lives, Joseph said, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done” (Genesis 50:20). I pray I will see “…but God…” strung through the narrative of my story and will be able to speak blessing and not curses when all is said and done.

First Encounters with Amy

1Amy

Today, I wanted to focus on the moment I met my wonderful wife and the moment I knew I would marry her. Only a month separates the two moments, and we barely spoke during that month, but those two moments are forefront in my brain this morning as I ponder the wonderful way God works to bring a family together. I miss her, but not all my memories are connected to tears. What follows is an excerpt from chapter 2 of my book.

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“Is that a good book?”

It was an unexpected question while I was sitting outside the gym my college used for P.E. It was almost 8:00 p.m. and I had gone outside to read a textbook for which I had to write at least a five-page essay by Friday. It was Monday and I had just started reading the book a few days prior. Being a slow reader and highly distractible made reading very difficult for me in a loud gymnasium. My volleyball team was participating in a round-robin event and we were sitting out the current round awaiting a winner. I had asked my teammates to come and get me when it was nearly time for us to play again.

“Huh?”

“Is that a good book?” the feminine voice asked again. I looked up to find a beautiful blonde looking down at me. I didn’t know her name. She was on one of the opposing volleyball teams, and I had seen her around campus, but I didn’t really know who she was.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’ve just started reading it and I have an essay due on the entire book by Friday.” It being Monday, I thought I had dropped a pretty important hint.

“It looks interesting,” she said sitting on the steps next to me and arresting the book from my grip. I cringed. I didn’t know what page I was on in the book. Finding it would take precious time.

Realizing that this girl, who I didn’t really know, was going to stay and chat, I decided to swallow my frustration and try being civil.

“My name’s Thom,” I said.

“I know. My roommate’s Temple Simmons.” I cringed. I had gone to school with Temple for three years, but I didn’t really know her well, and we were not part of the same social circles. This conversation wasn’t starting out well. “I’m Amy.”

We talked for about ten minutes about random things, then my teammates came to get me. Amy followed me inside. As it turned out, my team was playing her team. Since I was frustrated about losing ten quality minutes of reading (yes, I was being that petty), I decided that I would play hardball. In college, I was a pretty good volleyball player. Other intramural teams hated playing us because we worked well together and I had a wicked serve. I never started as server – we didn’t think that was fair. I was usually the third or fourth to serve. By the time I was standing on the line, ball in hand, I’d realized that this girl who had interrupted my study time was not very good at fielding a serve, especially a powerful serve. I aimed right at her. As the ball rocketed toward her, she squealed and ducked. Her teammates dove to try and recover the ball, but their efforts were in vain. I kept serving. Most of the time, I aimed right at Amy. To throw the team off, once I dropped a serve right over the net, and another time I drilled the back foul line. Amy was standing in the back of the court, a little afraid of the ball, waiting for her teammates to field the serve before she would get in the fray. She never did. My serves were not ever returned, and my team dominated the game, 21 to 0.

Two days later I passed Amy in a hallway.

“That was a really good book,” she said, stopping right in front of me.

“What?”

“The book you were reading on Monday. I got a copy from the bookstore yesterday and read it last night. It was fantastic!” I wasn’t even halfway through it yet. The frustration began to build.

“I’m glad you liked it,” I managed while trying on a fake smile. “I gotta get to class. I’m running a little late.” As I said, I am a painfully slow reader. So far, from what I read of the book, I agreed with her. But who does that?!? Who goes out and buys a new 275-page textbook, a month from the end of the school year, for a class they’re not even taking and then reads it in one night?!? Those two encounters with Amy began to burrow under my skin. When I talked with my roommate that evening about it, he just listened, grinning.

“Sounds like Thommy has a crush!”

“You know I hate that,” I said flushing blood red.

“Yep, it’s a crush all right.” Andrew started laughing.

“Why would you say that?” I asked emphatically, a little perturbed.

“You didn’t deny it,” he answered.

I threw my pillow at him and went back to reading the same textbook. It was a long two nights as I finished reading the book and writing the essay.

One month later, two days before my graduation, I was coming out of the waiting room of the girl’s dormitory, headed for my dorm room. It was just after 10:00 p.m. Curfew was less than an hour away. When I crested the top of the stairs into the parking lot, a car pulled in and parked right in front of me. Two girls popped out of it. One was a Freshman girl who lived in the dorm, the other was Amy. I waved and she beckoned me to come over. I was holding a novel I had just begun reading.

When I stopped next to her car, she nodded and pointed to my book.

“Is that a good book?”

I laughed

“So far. I just started reading it.”

“Do you have to write a paper on it?” I could tell her voice was coy. She was playing with me. I guess my frustration in our previous exchanges had been a bit more obvious than I would have liked to admit. I grinned sheepishly.

We stood in the parking lot talking until 2:30 a.m., 3 ½ hours past curfew! We talked about life after school. I was graduating with a four-year degree; she had just come to take a one-year Bible and Business course, then she was returning home to a suburb of Portland, Oregon. I was unsure where I was headed, having not heard the results of my interviews the previous week. We talked about movies, plays, high school, and the future. Nothing was off limits.

No one bothered us the whole time. Amy’s friend found the boy she wanted to flirt with and they were nowhere to be found. When the campus security guard passed us for the umpteenth time, I guess I was getting nervous.

“It’s way past curfew,” I said, not really wanting to break away from this girl I wish I had met the first week of the school year.

“What are they going to do, hold onto your diploma?” There was that coyness in her voice again. I felt as if I were the great tactician, Odysseus, who’d lost his wits at the sound of Siren Song.

“Shouldn’t that be my line?” I asked with a grin.

“Do you have something to write on?”

I handed Amy the 3×5 index card I had been using as a bookmark. She scrawled her name and phone number on it before handing it back.

“If you end up near Portland, look me up.” I took the card and grinned. Amy turned, ducked into her car, and was gone before I realized what happened. I tucked the card back into my book and slowly headed for the men’s dorm. My roommates – who had been standing outside on one of the walkways – saw me coming and ran to our room giggling. When I arrived, all three were posed as if they hadn’t just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Our dorm rooms were divided into two living areas, each with two bunks, separated by a common bathroom (which had a separate room for a shower and commode). I lived in the back cubicle but had to enter through the front and go through the common bath area to get to my room. When I entered, the two roommates who lived in the front were lying on their bunks, pretending to read a book while trying to stifle the giggles. My roommate was seated on a chair opposite the bunks, also “reading a book”.

“What’s her name?” Josh asked.

“Oh, shut up!” I said, not stopping on the way to my room. Andrew followed me into the back. Once we were both in the room alone, I locked the door. I slumped into my desk chair, leaned back, and propped my feet on the desk.

“I’m going to marry that girl, Andrew,” I whispered.

“Oh really?” he asked, trying to keep himself together.

“Yup. I’m going to marry that girl. Mark your calendar. June 5, 1996, is when I said, ‘I’m going to marry that girl.’”

Good Grief?!? Intro

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Photo by Eugene Dorosh on Pexels.com

What follows is the first half of the introduction to my book. Since the second half doesn’t “work” too well on a blog, I’m only sharing the beginning. Stay tuned for more book excerpts!


Some of my favorite memories center around food – whether it was a birthday party, a family reunion, or a romantic getaway, the food – its smells, flavors, and experience – tend to be the first triggers of great memories.

One of my favorite memories happened when I was eating a French pastry, on a bustling street, full of French, English, and other European dialects yammering away at one another. I stood there, one hand holding a fresh, warm cruller…well, a half-eaten cruller to be exact…and what an amazing sensation. The sugary glaze was slowly covering my hand; the warm, freshly baked dough melted in my mouth along with more of the sugary sweet, semi-liquid coating; and the scents of other pastries flooded the air. It was simply magical.

My other hand was busy as well. You see, it was the third day following my wedding. My new bride and I were holding hands, and had been holding hands for much of the past three days. I’ll admit, it was a new sensation – having lived seventy-two miles apart while we dated – and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Just intermingling our fingers brought warmth – inner and outer warmth – and a smile to my face. Mixed with the incredible pastry, I was in wedded bliss.

That evening, we were on a different street, full of many different languages again, but this time, we were eating authentic Chinese food, prepared by people who truly know what Chinese food should taste like. As I looked around me at the Imperial red and gold roofs that hearkened back to the Tang Dynasty in Ancient China, I was caught up in the grandeur of this new life together with the only woman I had met who completely completed me.

Later that evening, we stole away to a small shop that prided itself in unique cookbooks from around the world. Amy collected cookbooks. I chose one for her that would help us to remember the entire day. Handing it to my new blushing bride, I said, “We need to remember to come back here in twenty-five years.” She smiled back at me.

Taking the book, she replied, “I agree, but in the meantime, we can use this cookbook and our Honeymoon to inspire every room in our home.” Home. It had a nice ring to it. Yes, we had a house that housed our earthly possessions, albeit a rented house, but a house is not always a home. This beautiful lady wanted to create a Home with me! I grinned much bigger than I had already been grinning.

As we left the shop, dreaming of what our home would look like, I asked a simple question: “Do you want to head to the waterfront for the fireworks, or head over to Italy for some more Gelato?”

Looking around me now, each room of our home has been touched by that trip to Disneyworld, and each time I look at a cruller, I smile, making a mental note to begin planning my return trip to Disneyworld…alone.

 

Incredible!

Incredibles 2 poster 2

During the afternoon of November 6, 2004, on a Choir Retreat with my students from Heritage Christian School, a car pulled up to the lodge where we were staying and out poured four of my recently graduated students. Having been on the choir retreat in prior years, the students knew where we were staying. They were giddy and began yelling, looking for me.

“Mr. Johnson! We just watched you on the big screen!”

After calming them down, I learned they had seen The Incredibles the night before. And they’d driven out just to tell me about it.

“Have you seen it yet, Mr. Johnson?”

“You’ve got to see it, Mr. Johnson!”

“We swear; we were watching you! Especially the car scene.”

“Don’t ruin it for me,” I chided them, chuckling a bit.

When Amy and I saw the movie, I laughed until I cried. The car scene truly was me. I drove a red Ford Escort at the time, and I felt like I put on a raincoat with wheels every time I went to work.

And that’s how my life as a superhero started. Because of those four students, I became the mild-mannered teacher by day, world-saving superhero by night. My kids even believed it (granted they were only 5, 2, and 9 months at the time).  My secret identity has followed me from HCS to the other schools where I’ve worked. Two students from different schools have given me original drawn/painted pictures of me as a superhero, both of which I’ve framed and both of which adorn my classroom.

Last night, to honor Amy’s birthday (she was a Disney fan through and through), the boys and I went to the pre-showing of Incredibles 2. I was probably the only person in the theater crying. No spoilers, I promise.

There was a summer when Amy worked and I stayed home with the kids. I felt like Bob Parr. There was a moody child, a “jump first” child, and a child whose temperament changed the entire household in a blink. It was exhausting trying to care for all three without keeping up with the housework. However, every time Amy called to check on me, I tried to keep the brave-everything’s-okay voice. She saw through it, I’m sure, but I kept encouraging her to go out into the world and slay her dragon. It’d been too long since she’d worked outside the home. Each night, though, I reminded her she couldn’t leave until Isaiah graduated. I couldn’t keep up with it all…especially by myself.

Amy liked The Incredibles. She would have loved the sequel. It portrayed her in the best possible way. Truly flexible. Able to keep everything going, and going well. And one step ahead of each of the kids.

Is it still true today? Do I have an emotional, brooding teen? Do I have a child ready to run into the fray without much thought to the consequences? Do I have a changeling child who runs me ragged? Do I suck at housework and suffer from a lack of sleep? “Yes” to all. Was my Amy-zing wife truly Mrs. Incredible? Yes.  Go see the movie. It’s an incredible homage to my incredible family and ever elastic wife.

-Forever in His grip,

Thom