It was just after Midnight this morning when everything went awry. There was a chirping, every 30 seconds. Micah and Isaiah had just come home from watching Jurassic World in 3D. Micah was laughing and telling me how he tortured his brother during the “almost scary” parts of the movie. Isaiah is apparently more fun to watch in an intense movie like this than me. I wasn’t sure how to take that information, but I chuckled and began heading for bed. We all groaned when we heard the chirping. We all knew what it meant.

For some reason, our family is plagued by the Smoke Detector Demons. It is always in the middle of the night when those stupid things go awry. I tasked Micah with changing the battery and set off to bed. Unfortunately, the monster machine with an attitude was the one doubling as a carbon monoxide detector! Thirty seconds after the battery was changed, the demonic detonator of discord began its din again. We pushed buttons. Eh! Eh! We reset the battery. Eh! EH! EH!  We even unplugged it from the ceiling wiring. That apparently was the last straw! We’d muted the maniacal mayhem happening every 30 seconds by inadvertently awaking all five siblings of the beast. Armageddon was fastly approaching. I’m sure the neighbors could hear it by now. Needless to say, my sleeping angel was no longer sleeping. Autism does not like unexpected noises, especially loud ones in the middle of the night.

“Turn that off, Dad!” he yelled.

By sheer luck — more probably the hand of God — Micah and I were able to silence the siren. It was nearing 12:30 a.m.

Eh! Eh! EH! We hung our heads in defeat. Another 5 minutes we discovered the problem: — as noted in size 6 font on the wall side of the dastardly device — the faulty Carbon Monoxide detector had to be “replaced immediately!” I cringed as I called the after-hours-emergency-tenant line for the rental company. After 10 minutes, it was clear that the end of the world was nigh! They could not fix the machine until Home Depot opened. We would have to endure the increasingly irritating insomniac incubus within the machine, every 30 seconds…until HOME DEPOT OPENED!

It was nearly 2:30 a.m. before my numb brain was able to override the tintinnabulum and slip into a fitful, nearly awake, state of sleep. I woke for work at 6:10 a.m. Not ready to be manning a kettle corn trailer at the Hillsboro Saturday Market, but alas I trudged on anyway.

Work was painfully slow; my brain was wading through the sludge of over-due sleep requirements. I went to play practice after work and found out my son needed sandals for the camp dramas in only 2 days. My bed seemed to be slipping farther and farther away from me. When I opened the door to my house shortly after 5 p.m., the irritant was still sounding off every 30 seconds. Because of weekend issues, the handyman could not get a key from the office to simply come into my home while I was away and fix the problem. I passed out from sheer exhaustion at 5:40 p.m. Micah arrived home shortly after and was able to direct the handyman when he finally arrived around 6:00 p.m. I woke to a pounding, dehydration headache at 8:00 p.m. The silence was blissful! I ate two microwavable, frozen burritos while updating you, my readers. I’m heading back to bed in minutes. Hopefully, the near gallon of water I’ve been chugging, along with the Tylenol, will alleviate my still throbbing head while I “uneventfully” slip back into the coma of sleep.

Thank God I have an incredible son who took charge of the situation when he was off work tonight! He even took his brothers to Red Robin for dinner! I haven’t heard such blessed silence in years! Hopefully the sleep will be blessed!